I feel very, very sad. I feel as if I’ve made a terrible mistake, the second such mistake in my life; but a much greater one than the first. Time will tell…
Either way, hopefully I haven’t made things worse for someone else. It was never my intention to cause emotional harm to someone who has stood by me through thick and thin, through good times and more importantly, bad times.
She demonstrated that she was fully committed. She gave it all. She was all-in. She put it all on the line and, as usual, I flinched, I was non-committal. I was too selfish, too worried about perceptions. Too worried about what others may think. There is nothing wrong with her. She is very attractive. As beautiful outside as she is inside; she’s a lovely person. A heart the size of a country. Hard working, dedicated, committed, fun, a good mother and a loving partner – and I blew it!
I may have seen her for the last time ever this afternoon, as we are separated by 8 hours and a continent away. Not much in today’s world, but a great deal in real life terms.
Life is strange. Fate is strange. I’ve always felt, I’ve always believed, that one can never go back. I hope I’m wrong!
I will always love you my dear!!!
Me.
